abby_is_evil (abby_is_evil) wrote,

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O, confound the rest! Such love must needs be treason in my breast!

My guts are falling out.

...and why the fuck is Kate Lux sleeping with Mary and Taylor?

Love and a big fat fuck you,
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playa queen???
Dear Caitlin,

Nigga please.

Love and shut the fuck up,
dear abby:

the protrusion of your entrails was merely caused by a ripped suture that can be easily mended with any conventional sewing mechanism. however, abby, we regret to inform you that your initial concern over your guts falling out is the least of your problems.

abby, i'm sorry to tell, but you've been diagnosed with cancer. this is probably due to the high amounts of carcinogenic polyester-blend cotton found in your bloodstream.

also, judging by the size of your eyes in relation to the rest of your head, you have aids.

your x-ray results also came back. abby, you have no bones. you shouldn't even be alive. there is just no hope for you.

as always with cases like this, we recommend a second opinion.

the mayo clinic
Dear Dr. Kiss-My-Pantalooned-Ass,

You can kiss my pantalooned ass. I will never die! I shall always prevail! Suck my ass, motherfucker.